Chaos has ensued in the Zehr household! After 3 (now 4) rescheduled foster care home visits, we received an unexpected email on Friday. Our agency reached out to us to see if we would consider a situation that they were thinking about taking on, but needed a family to be on board before they did so. They had an expectant mother who is expecting twin boys in April, one of whom will be born with Down Syndrome. Previously this was outside of our comfort zone, but something on that day made us stop and pray about this. We had to run through so many scenarios in our heads regarding how having a child with special needs would change our lives and future. We also had to think about what God was calling us to and if He was calling us to this situation, we had to trust that the blessings would far outweigh the challenges that would be sure to come. We both felt like God was leading us to agree to be presented to this expectant mother despite the fear and uncertainties that we felt. So, we agreed, they (the expectant mother and friend) viewed our profile and they really like us. They sent a list of questions to us as well as 3 other families, so they can get a better feel for who God is leading them to choose for these precious babies.
Since agreeing to being presented to this couple, some new information has surfaced. We would like to proceed and our agency wants us to proceed, but we have to determine whether or not we can afford to proceed. We have been very honest with our agency about the fact that we do not want to enter into a situation that we cannot afford to complete, hence why we had moved onto foster care. They are willing to work with us as much as possible, but there is a certain amount of money that has to go toward paying the workers that will be working on this case. At this point we are asking for payer as we contemplate whether or not we can move forward. Is this what God has been preparing us for for the past 5 years? We have known for awhile that He has been preparing us for something bigger than ourselves, but this type of situation was not even on our radar! Are we supposed to just step out in faith and trust that somehow everything will work itself out? Is this the reason that our foster care home visit keeps being cancelled? To put it simply, our heads are spinning.
As of right now, we are moving forward until the expectant mother makes her decision. If she chooses us, we will need to figure the rest of the details out at that time and probably fill out as many grant applications as we can get our hands on! If she doesn't, we will proceed with becoming foster parents and trust that that is the capacity that God wants to use us in. At this point, we are not rescheduling our home visit until decisions are made with this situation. I have to say, it's reassuring to know that both we and the expectant mother are seeking God in this huge decision, but it's also terrifying to let go and trust that everything will work out if we are chosen! Please pray for us and even more so for the expectant mother as she makes a very difficult decision to determine who she feels God is leading her to choose to parent her children.