Sunday, July 14, 2013

I've been having trouble keeping this blog updated recently for some reason and I'm not exactly sure why. I used to be full of ideas to write about regarding adoption, even if our personal situation hadn't changed. Now, many time I find myself at a loss of what to write. Part of it may be that I'm simply tired of the process. I'm tired of waiting, having our profile shown but not being chosen and then questioning whether we will be able to accept a placement if we are chosen because we don't have the finances in place yet (we've only raised about $2500 and had to use $1,000 to get to where we are). It tends to all just take a toll after awhile. I am at a much better place than I was at this time last year, I am not nearly as bitter about our situation and toward other women who get pregnant or adopt easily. I am not as sad and full of grief over our failed attempts at getting pregnant. I think now I'm just tired of waiting. So this is my attempt to be honest as to why posts have been less frequent.

However, as I'm sitting here writing I remember that I wanted to say "thank you" to all of you. I have read so many sad stories of couples that are criticized for trying to adopt. The friends and families in their lives don't support them or their decision, which would make this an incredibly lonely journey. Sadly there are those out there that don't understand how adoption works, but rather than ask questions and try to understand, they condemn and criticize. Many of them believe that all children should stay with their birth families and that all couples should adopt from foster care. This would be amazing if it were that simple, but they don't understand that it is the birth parents who are placing their babies for adoption because they know that they can't care for that child in a way that they want them to be cared for, or maybe they simply can't care for them at all due to a variety of reasons. No one should ever be forcing an expectant parent to place his/her child (I use place rather than "give up" because they choosing a placement for their child rather than "giving them up"). If this is happening, then there are serious issues. Also, adopting from foster care is not an easy process. Yes, there are thousands of older children in our foster care system that would love to be adopted, but as adoptive parents, one needs to be ready to bring an older child into the home. In fact, I have looked at a few older children that we would inquire on if we both were one board, but many of them cannot have younger siblings due to their past which prevents us from pursuing that child.

I say all of this because thankfully, unlike many of these other stories that I've heard from others, we have never received mean messages or had people tell us that what we are doing is wrong. Yes, we've had people suggest adopting from foster care, but it came from a genuine place of trying to help and knowing that there is a need there, not because they think that infant adoption is wrong. All of you, whom are our friends and family, have been nothing but supportive and I know that you will celebrate with us when the child we are meant to parent comes home with us. For that, I say thank you!

Also, I just wanted to remind everyone that we are open to private situations. This means that if you know a couple or a woman that is looking to place her baby for adoption and is looking for parents for that baby, we may be open to that situation and please feel free to pass our information on to her. Thank you all and have an amazing week!

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