The road of infertility is filled with waiting. First you wait to get pregnant, when that doesn't happen you have to wait to complete a year of trying before seeing a fertility specialist. It then takes a month or two to get into the specialist and then once you complete some sort of treatment you have the infamous two week wait to find out if the treatment was successful. Now we have moved onto adoption and we are waiting some more.
We got an email about 3 weeks ago asking if we wanted to be presented to an expectant mother who was making an adoption plan for her baby. After hearing about the situation and health history we excitedly agreed. We scurried around getting our application and clearances in, getting fingerprinted and ordering a rush copy of our adoption profile. We were told we would know what the expectant mother's choice was by the end of the following week. I spent that week going between emotions of wanting this so badly to absolute fear of trying to figure out how we were going to come up with the money that would be due at placement. The only thing we could do was pray and trust that if this was the baby that God intended for us that He would provide the money some how, some way. We didn't end up hearing anything and I called on Monday morning to see where things were at. We were told that she was flip flopping between two families, but we were her third choice, which we were told was really good. However, just because we were this mother's third choice doesn't really mean much since everyone is looking for something different in a potential adoptive family for their child. We finally received word this week that she did settle on one of the other families. We would be lying if we said we weren't disappointed, but now we will be more prepared for the next situation. All of our documents are in and we won't have to rush order more profiles. We will also hopefully know if we have received any grants, put in a loan application and have more time for fundraising.
The waiting is hard and not knowing if we are going to get a call tomorrow or six months from now is challenging, but in an odd way, it is easier than fertility treatments while also a little more terrifying. If we had been chosen for this situation the baby would have been born next month, which is fast but is a common reality in adoption situations. But to not be chosen is easier than finding out that I'm not pregnant and that we have two less embryos left to work with. With adoption I know that there will always be another adoption situation and that there will be a baby that is meant for us in the end. Please continue to pray for us as we wait and trust and please pray for all of the expectant parents and birth parents that have chosen or are choosing to place their children for adoption. I can't imagine the process that they must go through in effort to make the best choice for their child.
If you would like to see our adoption profile you can view it below, it will play automatically and typically it would look more like a book rather than a slideshow of individual pages.