Heartache

9-The number of embryos that we started with back in December.
3-The number of embryos we have left today
3-The number of failed transfers that we have had to date.
9-The number of months we have been traveling back and forth to the fertility clinic in hopes of conceiving a child.

Since the adoption process is moving so slowly, we figured we would try another frozen embryo transfer since we don't have to pay for the transfer itself as long as we it before December (this does not include bloodwork and ultrasounds). After some discouragement of finding out that our new insurance didn't cover anything fertility related (and some rather large bills of procedures performed before knowing this detail), we went through with the transfer. We stepped out in faith and said "this is it!". We are getting pregnant this time, this one will finally work. Well, we were wrong. Once again we are crushed, confused and hurting. The answer for us is to schedule a follow-up consult with the doctor, which I think we should have had long before now and should not have had to request ourselves. Unfortunately we won't be able to even speak with the doctor until July 30th. This is over a month away! I'm sorry, but I'm not real impressed. I want answers now. Obviously something needs to change and obviously something more is going on and they can't give us answers as to what.

For so long we thought that male factor infertility was our only issue. I took my fertility for granted and just assumed that my body would be baby friendly. This has been a hard reality for me to face and now I'm wondering if my body is actually attacking the embryos and now allowing me to get pregnant. This would not be good news as this is not an easy fix, and if you find a doctor that is willing to work with you on this it would not be an option financially for us.

In our situation there are two sides to the spectrum. There are the couples that choose to not even try IVF  as they don't feel it is right for them and they turn their energy to adoption. Then you have other couples that have 8-9 failed IVF's and a number of frozen embryo transfers in hopes of 1 or 2 successful cycles. Then you have us, we wanted to try IVF, but we also want to pursue adoption in hopes of becoming parents some how, some way, as soon as possible, while also providing children a home who are in need. I always pictured have both biological children and adopted children, but that may not be how God has pictured our family. We are still actively pursuing adoption, but there is only so much we can do at once and until we have the finances to move forward we are at a stand still. So we will be beginning another fundraiser to try and raise more money. We will be purchasing a puzzle and you can "sponsor" pieces of the puzzle by donating $10/ piece. Your name will then be written on the back of the piece and the puzzle will be displayed in a double sided glass case for all to see who helped us bring our child home. Please let us know if you are interested and please pray for us as we once again grieve, seek and move forward.