About two years ago, I was sitting in a lecture in nursing school about obesity. Throughout this lecture we laid out all of the risk factors that come along with being obese. Now, I don't give BMI too much power over my life because I know that it is an outdated and inaccurate way to measure health, however we also discussed that waist circumference is a more accurate measurement of risk factors as carrying weight in one's abdomen increases their risks of diseases such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and type two diabetes. I sat in that lecture acutely aware of my own weight and went home and measured my waist.
When my husband Elias was sick and frequently in and out of the hospital prior to and following his bilateral lung transplant, I put on quite a bit of weight. I was in survival mode. I ate what sounded good, I didn't have any extra energy to devote to exercise. I had two year told twins and a husband in end stage lung disease to take care of at home. I was not a priority in that season. Everyone told me to take care of myself as well, but that did not feel realistic. Once we were on the other side, I knew there would be time for me, I just needed to survive that season.
Fast forward two years, and I was no longer in survival mode, but I had made no progress in reclaiming my own health. So I sat in this lecture and processed how I was married to a man with diabetes and I knew what that involves. I knew that high blood pressure and high cholesterol run in my family and I also knew that with my husband's health history, my family was relying on me to stay healthy, even if they didn't know it.
It took time and supplements, but eventually I turned back to the eating plan I knew and trusted. I began preparing healthy meals for lunches that kept me out of the freezer and canned soup aisles. I incorporated gentle exercise as time and life allowed and slowly the pounds began to come off.
Today I have found myself at the same weight for almost a year. It is not where my goal was set, I am still working on that, and I still have to work at making healthy choices every time I eat, but it also comes more natural now. My waist circumference is in a healthy zone, and I am the lightest I've been since our first year of marriage. I know I am healthier, I know I have reduced my modifiable risk factors. I am not perfect, I have not arrived, but I am a healthier version of myself and now I am beginning to also focus on my mental health.
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