This past week has been an emotionally charged one. Our family has had to face the what ifs of some health issues that we are facing. I also took a doula training and as doulas we provide a lot of emotional support, which means that in training we talk about emotions.
After the first day of my training, I was driving home from Watertown, thinking and praying about our current situation, my fears, concerns and just my emotions in general and it dawned on me that I am so thankful that I serve a God of emotions. He understands my emotions better than I do and he can handle all of them, good, bad and downright ugly. I'm a pretty emotional person, so to be frank, I wouldn't want a God who couldn't handle them.
I also thought about Jesus and how Jesus not only fully understands emotions from a Godly understanding, but he also completely understands emotions from a fully human perspective. That is seriously incredible. In the Bible we get to read about Jesus experiencing joy, anger and even grief. That is my kind of God. The kind that weeps at a grave with a grieving family even though he knows what is yet to come. The kind that gets angry and flips tables when that anger can be used in a controlled and constructive way and the kind that shares in great joy, even in the simple things.
I haven't always embraced this. I've been angry and bitter with God, shaking my first at him and blaming him for not changing the pain that I was enduring and I'll probably do it again at some point in the future. In those moments I truly felt that God could not possibly understand what I was going through and that if he did, he would change it because it was too cruel not to. I've cried heavy, sobbing tears through a broken heart and just wondered why he would allow this kind of pain. Yet, he understood all of it, even better than I did. He was okay with me being angry and loved me through it and I believe that he hurt even more than I hurt to see me in pain. He did create emotions after all.
I am so thankful that I serve a God of emotions, that can handle whatever I'm feeling and love me through it all.