Tuesday, May 5, 2015

An Ode To Birthmother's Day

We all know that Mother's Day is this weekend (and if you didn't, you do now!), but did you know that there is also a Birthmother's Day? Don't feel bad if you didn't because up until a couple of years ago, I didn't know either. Really, you wouldn't know unless you have some sort of connection to the adoption community. Birthmother's Day is this Saturday, the day before Mother's Day, so I thought I would take the time to brag a little bit on our birthmother, Katy.

There are so many stereotypes surrounding adoption and birthmoms. Everything from every birth mom must have used drugs, to the children were unwanted, to these women need to be more reproductively "responsible". Unfortunately in some cases this is true, but many times it is not and in our case, it certainly is not! 

Katy is none of these things. She is an amazing, responsible woman who loves and cares for her family. She loves deeply and the decision to place our boys did not did not come lightly or easily. She is raising two other great children as a single mom and she has said goodbye this side of heaven to two others before Asher and Lucas. She loves the Lord and is raising her children to do the same. She runs her own daycare to provide for her family and she has never used drugs. 

When she found out Asher had Down syndrome I think that there was a part of her that somehow, despite the deep love she already felt, grew to love him even more than she already did. That love came with fear because adoption was already in the back of her mind and she didn't know what that would mean when it came to finding a family for both of her boys. After Asher was diagnosed with Down syndrome, cysts were found on Lucas' brain which could have been indicative of another chromosomal condition. She was strongly encouraged to terminate her pregnancy, but her love was so strong for these babies that she knew that that was not an option and that resulted in two beautiful and healthy boys. 

She sought the Lord when making her decision and He led her to us. She prayed for us and for our boys. She cried tears of joy and tears of sorrow when handing two sweet babies over to us to raise and love. She is joyful that she has given us the gift of parenthood, but she misses and thinks about Asher and Lucas every day. She rejoices in each milestone they meet and tells us how much she loves not only the children we share, but how much she loves us as well. 

She is strong, as all birthmother's are who choose to make this incredibly selfless decision. She knows I am their mom, but she will always be too. I am so honored to share motherhood with this amazing woman. 

This Birthmother's Day, don't judge before you know the story (one that Katy will share at a later time). Most birthmother's are just like you and me who have found themselves in a place where parenting at that time was not the best option for their family. They love their children and they want to be part of their lives, to know that they are safe, healthy and happy. To share with them their story and love on them. I am so thankful for open adoption and for Katy and their is never a day that I take that for granted. 

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