Today I celebrate the bittersweet day that my sweet baby boys turn one. I can hardly believe that a year has already come and gone. I look at my little boys and I notice that they are starting to look just like that, more like little boys than babies. Lucas is everywhere and into everything, this is little baby-toddler hybrid that is soaking up everything like a sponge. Even though I would never want to see my child struggle, I am in some ways thankful that I get to keep Asher like a baby a little while longer as developmentally he's more like an 8-9 month old. I love watching my boys grown and develop, I celebrate and rejoice in every new milestone. I am so honored to be their mama.
This year hasn't been easy, but unlike most challenging years, the challenges aren't what stick out in my mind. Rather, the joys are what I remember most vividly. If you would have told me that I would feel this way in the first three months of their lives, I would have laughed or maybe even cried. Those days felt so hard! I was more tired than I could have ever imagined being, but I was also so in love with these two helpless little beings that wanted and needed all of my time and energy. But each month got at little easier and presented itself with new unique challenges. And each month I fell more and more hopelessly in love with my sons.
On this day, I am so excited that they are turning one and all they are doing, but I am also sad to know that this may have been my one and only year of being mommy to a baby. Being a mom to a baby is such a sweet time. At the same time, I am so thankful that I got do to it two times over and if I never do it again, the time I had is more than enough and more than some far more deserving than I get to experience. What did I do to deserve such blessings? It's almost mind boggling how fast one year of pure joy can pass when one year of pain and grief can feel like an eternity.
Today I praise the Lord with my whole heart to have been given this gift. I praise Him that he brought Elias and I to Katy and her family. That He changed and softened our hearts to accept the children that He chose us to parent and that He has entrusted us to raise them.
Oh, sweet boys. I cannot put into words my love for you. I am so unworthy of the gifts that you are to my life. I pray that God will lead me to be the best mom that I can be and everything that you deserve. It is truly a privilege and and honor to be called your mom.
"I'll like you forever, I'll love you for always. As long as you're living, my babies you'll be."