Considering this is my first mother's day as a mom to human babies, I feel like I would be doing an injustice to all of my avid readers to not squeeze in time to post this year about how I'm doing, feeling, and if my feelings regarding mother's day have changed. So here it is: this year I have actually looking forward to Mother's Day. I was able to walk through the store and not feel angry, annoyed or saddened by all of the Mother's Day paraphernalia. I have felt no feelings of dread leading up to this weekend, I even have a gift planned to make with the boys to commemorate our first Mother's Day. We are actually planning on making our family debut at church, as long as we can get out of the house on time, and I feel like we could go out and I would feel worthy of being celebrated for the first time. We will celebrate this weekend and feel happy about this new chapter of our lives and the precious gifts that have been entrusted to us.
As I write these things though, I still feel sad for the old me and for all of the individuals who will be hurting tomorrow. I feel sad for every woman who will go to church or walk into a restaurant and face the awkward "do I give her a flower or not" thought process that goes through the flower bearer's mind when all they want is to feel worthy of receiving that flower. They may even play the role of a mother every day that makes them worthy of that flower. I feel sad for the child who never knew his or her mother, or who have been adopted by an amazing family, but will never know his/her birthmother and why they were placed for adoption. I feel sad for every person who has lost a mother or wife, who has no one to buy a gift for, or the mother who has lost her children and has no one to buy her a gift. And of course I feel sad for the birthmother's who have placed a child for adoption that haven't experienced healing while at the same time I think of the one's that have experienced healing and still feel that sting of loss while also celebrating the woman that they chose for their child.
Tomorrow as I celebrate, I will be thinking of the boys' Mommy Kate. How she is an amazing mother to her two children at home, how she will always be a mother to our two boys and how she's a mother to them in way that I can never be. I will think of her selfless act and her obedience to God to give our boys more. I will celebrate her as well as myself tomorrow and we will forever share the gift of motherhood. Today is actually Birthmother's Day. I love that they have their own day, but I don't want them to be forgotten or viewed as unworthy to be celebrated on Mother's Day since they are indeed all mother's.
This weekend, please celebrate the women in your lives whether they have children or not, because they are worthy of being celebrated.