With Mother's Day coming this weekend, I would be lying if I didn't say that I am experiencing mixed emotions. I am so thankful for my own wonderful mother, my still living grandmother and my mother-in-law. All three are beautiful women and I am truly blessed to have them in my life. On the other side of things, every year I think that this will be the last Mother's Day that I will not have children to call my own. Every year I sincerely believe this and, so far, it has not proven to be true. At work today I had one woman ask me if I had children yet and tell me that I had all of the little Mother's Day crafts that they bring home from school to look forward to. While I do my best to remain hopeful and trust in the promise that I feel that God has granted us, that we will be parents, it does cross my mind of whether or not I ever will be able to experience these things. I told Elias today that Mother's Day for me is like Valentine's Day for single people, but maybe on a more painful scale.
Despite the ache that comes with this holiday, I will do my best to focus on the blessings that I have rather than yearning for the blessings that are yet to come. I will thank God for my wonderful husband who has stood by me and walked this journey by my side. I will praise the Lord for my "fur baby" Scrumpy, who has made the ache just a little duller and the wait that much more bearable. We may not have human children, but he is just as much our "child" as he could be and we love him unconditionally. I will be thankful that I have a home to clean, dishes to wash and food to cook that other mothers around the world would give anything for if it meant being able to provide for their children. I will be thankful for our families who have been more than supportive and who have loved us and cried with us in the good times and the difficult times. And lastly I will praise God for His goodness and blessings. For His love for His children and the gift of motherhood that He does not always grant on our time or in the way that we had imagined, but that He grants to us in His own way. Yes, I might cry and that's ok, but I will do my best not to let my grief overpower the joy I feel for the blessings in my life.